To Be

That feeling..
Always in me...

I always thought... actually I still think that I will die young
Don't know maybe all young people think like that, maybe not..

My life was good i mean really good, I've had whatever I wanted till today..
I wanted a university I got it, I wanted to change it, I got it
I wanted erasmus, I got it
I wanted Paris, I got it
I wanted London, I got it
I wanted a car, I got it
I wanted a job, I got it
I wanted good collegues, I got it
I wanted a nonproblem school, I got it

Just as said in a book I'm reading nowadays, ' I'm in a rollercoaster that only goes up ' for now.
But this damned thing will start to go down someday, it will go so deep that I'll forget to breath.

Is it weird to think such kind of things if you're just in your 20s ?

An furthermore I think that I will get a disease somehow, a serious one, no way out one
Maybe it's because of movies or books, but it feels strange !

Hell ! What the hell am I talking about ?

I dont want to die, like a depressed teen, right?
No hell !
I've never fall in love, not yet!

Damn ! I want to feel it, I want it so bad !
To be loved, touched, cared
To feel important
To live
To be someone's heart
To share someone's heart