Jane and Me

' I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him '

That's what Jane Austen says in Emma. I admire that woman, she knows how to think and reflects real life so wonderfully that I always put myself in that position. I love someone or I believe that I love him, then while I was reading these lines, the truth catched me, if he asked me right now, I would not accept him directly, yes I would be happy, very very happy but I would not want to say yes. I have doubts.

Sometimes I do not understand myself, but this time, I know myself, I like him, but I cant be with him, I believe that he cant give me what I want, and if I'm not happy, he wont be happy. So what is love without happiness? Nothing.

I feel sorry to think that, I feel sorry to choose my life according to my comfort but I'm just like this, thats why I always complaint about things, always criticize people hardly. I actually feel sorry for myself. Happiness is not around me, and if I dont try, it wont come for a long time.