11 Ağu 2011

DILEMMA



It's like a joke, I mean, I told you I dont want to talk about it, cause I did not want him to disappeared, but again, it happened. Actually nothing happened.

Yesterday, he was looking at me again, I tried to look normal, I need something and he had a pc, so I want his help, he did, said things unimportant while I was waiting next to him. And then da da da daammm. He looked at his phone, he always does this. But this time, he looked at and put it on the table, where I could see clearly his wallpaper, guess what?
A girl, he was hugging her from the behind. The first thing that came to my mind was girlfriend, when I sat down, I thought she might me close friend, sister, I dont know. But the point is he wanted me to see the picture, it was obvious, I got angry, dont know why, it was like, he tried to show me there was someone. Or I thought this and exaggerate. I calmed down myself.
Breath... Breath... Breath...
But, why does he keep on looking? Crazy, or something like that. Is he trying to warn me, saying do not get closer. Or he just wanted to see my reaction.
Today, he was oblivious, I could not look at him during his presentation, but I wanted to do it. But I know something is wrong with him. He talked and laughed with a girl, behind him. But I felt like, when he found a time, he looked at me again. I felt guilty, like I was pressing him, made him look at me. But I did not do this.
And today was the last day that I could see or talked to him. And he did not want to take the last advantage. So I gave up. Yeah I will see him one more time, but, there is no need to be hopeful:
He is just not that into me.



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